HAPPY NEW YOU!

My Readers! My Readers . . .the overly-humble self deprecating part of myself tells me to not feel too bad, because no one's really paying attention.  My higher self tells me, some of you may have been sitting tight, waiting to hear commentary regarding the coming and going of the namesake holiday of this blog!  Well Happy 2010 to you!

My apologies for a delayed new year's greeting.  I've been a combination of things, busy...tired from being busy ... mentally bogged down with a new class that is not as bad as I am forming it to be in my mind . . .it's just been one of those odd periods... overall good - but odd. To get in gear for this new year, I have some things to share with you. 
Lets get started. . .

Shape Up!

Looking for a new year's health plan that will get you back on the wagon after being off for YEARS?

This worked for me. 

Since December 22, 2008 - I've been working out 3-5 days a week after reading this article in O Magazine.  
 Bob Greene's Back to Business Plan
You'd be out of your mind to not at least give this plan a try - ESPECIALLY if you haven't had a regular fitness plan for a number of months or years.

It starts you off really slow - 15 minutes of activity per day for two weeks.  In week 3 you tack on 5 minutes ... before you know it, you are up to 40 minutes of exercise - 5 days a week! There are also small dietary changes that you undertake during this period to assist you with weight loss.  I AMAZED myself on this plan.   The girl who didn't want to get out of bed or off of the couch - now feels off-kilter if she doesn't work out.  Who woulda thought?   Exercising is my key to fighting depression. If you are dealing with depression - try a little physical activity.

Read Up!

The following book titles are books I've read over the last year, and prior to that,  that in some way or another  affected the way I approach life.  Debrena Jackson Gandy, author of one of the books listed below, says on her CD "Holistic Success" that books are vibrations.  Every book listed below is uplifting, life-changing, truth-telling, and just ... good for you ... what can I say?  What goes in comes out.  Take a trip to the bookstore, the internet, or the library to pick up these titles ... they are AWESOME.

All the Joy You Can Stand:  101 Sacred Power Principles for Making Joy Real in Your Life
by  Debrena Jackson Gandy

In this book, Debrena tells you how to release the joy that already resides with in you - through 101 stories, accounts, vignettes, lessons...what have you.
The result is a book that honestly, you need to BUY not borrow (as is the case with the books below).  You will gain insight on how to:

• simplify your life
• know what brings you joy
• find your creative genius
• suspend judgment
  

. . . that's 4 out of 101.  You get the point - now get the book.

Note to men:  Don't be fooled by the cover - the message of this book transcends gender.

Stilettos in the Kitchen

by Shanel Cooper Sykes

Honey listen . . .please do not take offense when I say this, but Shanel Cooper Sykes . . .this is a baaaaaaad b*tch.  I'm sorry, but that's the ONLY way to put it.  ...And when I opened the book, and found Debrena Jackson Gandy's name among the acknowledgments ... I said BINGO. I should have KNOWN these two were connected some how. To be so young, this is a woman on the MOVE.  She models, she runs a successful enterprise, she cooks out of this world, she is a Certified Life Coach and she is here to help you become the illustrious, JUICY, sexy, enterprising, manifestor of greatness you were meant to be!  The book addresses love, fitness, self care, motivation - it has FANTASTIC (restaurant quality) recipes to WOW your next dinner guests (clearing throat: Shrimp Creole, Peach Pepper Duck, and Honey Glazed Salmon with Lemon-Butter Shrimp Sauce - just to name a few).  Just get this book.  I won't even let anyone borrow mine.  You MUST get your own.

Naturally Thin

by Bethenny Frankel & Eve Adamson

My initial thought was... another reality star capitalizing on 15 minutes of fame, by releasing a shallow, low-quality, ghost-written book. Then, there in the middle of Barnes & Noble - I opened it up.

WRONG. FAIL.  [Cue the game show buzzer]

Bethenny put a lot into this book, and the contents make sense.  The title appeared a little "Hollywood" to me, but the book is about breaking the very habits that have put extra weight onto your body.

It reads well, gives intelligent insight, and is filled with tasty recipes.

If you are looking to change your eating habits in 2010, and get to the bottom of why those habits exist in the first place, pick up Bethenny's book.  You will be pleasantly surprised.

Other Must Have Titles That Might Just Change Your Life:

Stop Worrying & Start Living by Dale Carnegie

Life Strategies: Doing What Works, Doing What Matters by Dr. Phil McGraw

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - by Steven Covey

The One Minute Millionaire - The Enlightened Way to Wealth by Mark Victor Hansen & Robert G. Allen

Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential by Joel Osteen

Rich Dad Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach their Kids That the Poor and the Middle Class Do Not!  by Robert Kiyosaki

Success Gems by Jewel Diamond Taylor

Listen Up!

If you have the time, and the resources, there are courses & coaching programs in which you can partake to kick start effective change in your life.  Programs I've taken myself include the Dale Carnegie Course, and The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - both courses were excellent, and aided me in changing my inputs, and being more of a guardian of my mind in regard to what I put into to it, and how I interact with others.

As far as the classes are concerned - check with your employer to see if they may cover the cost of a self-improvement course such as Dale Carnegie - often times they do. Employers look highly upon the behavioral changes that employees incorporate into their lives, and bring back to the office, and many times are willing to underwrite the investment.  A past boss of mine actually required one of my co-workers to take the Dale Carnegie course for her own benefit after observing how painfully shy she was, and how it was affecting her work. The company paid for it. Your company may foot the bill for you too - if you don't know, ask!

Do you REALLY want to learn some tools to help you do things differently, and start living the life you were born to live?  Taking a class or hiring a life coach might be just what you need.  Don't be scared - sometimes the things try hardest to avoid are the exact things we need.  Forget what you heard.  Get Coached!

Self Improvement Courses:

Find a Dale Carnegie Course in Your Area:  www.dalecarnegie.com

Through my employer, I was able to participate in in both the Dale Carnegie course, as well a wonderful 4-week course based on the book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (mentioned above).  The 7 Habits program included 4 half hour sessions with a life coach to assist me with applying the principles highlighted in the class.  Click here to see if there may be a 7 Habits Workshop in your area.

Author, Shanel Cooper Sykes has an online classroom with fun - but challenging courses in which you can partake for a nominal fee.  In addition to that, she often hosts free tele-seminars, coaching calls, and web broadcasts.  Find out more at www.shanelsclassroom.com
. . .and she's no stranger to social networking - you can follow Shanel Cooper Sykes on Twitter, watch her web blog on YouTube, and add her as a friend on Facebook.

Life Coaches:

Like a personal trainer - but for your entire life, a life coach can be your key to being held accountable for sticking to your goals, and carrying out the changes you want to see occur in your life. They can serve as mentors, confidantes, drill sergeants, teachers and guides.  Plan, blueprint, benchmark, and execute your New Year's Revolution by utilizing the help of a life coach.

Here are some coaches I know of off hand - but it would benefit you to do some research, and find the life coach that fits your personal needs.  Two of them happen to be authors of two of the books I recommended above.

Debrena Jackson Gandy:   www.debrenasworld.com

Sadie Carrico:  www.sadiethecoach.com

Shanel Cooper Sykes:  www.shanelsclassroom.com

I hope all of this information puts you on the path toward the success you deserve. All you have to do is take action and make it happen.  Happy New You!

Dear Diary - Onions & Fitness

Dear Diary . . . 


December 5, 2007 


I knew that title would get your attention, but the Onion's hold some significance, so read on . . .

So ok, I was writing in my journal today cause a really good metaphor crossed my mind, in regard to my discipline (or lack thereof) with my excersising.

Many times I have gotten (and still get) discouraged when I think of the daunting task of reaching my fitness goals. There are days when I look in the mirror, and sigh thinking how long it will take to get where I want to be.
And knowing that I won't get the instantaneous results I always look for doesn't make it any better. But what came to mind recently is that, every time I do my cardio or lift my weights, I may not instantly see a pound(s) lost on the scale, BUT every effort I DO make goes into an account that will conribute to my goal in the end.

To me, reaching a fitness goal is like playing the lottery - you gotta be in it to win it! There is no way you can hit the jackpot if you are not in the game!
So these days, instead of sweating it out, and still being depressed afterward when I don't see results in the way of pounds or inches lost, I try to remember the fact that every effort I make, leads to that day when my efforts yield visible results. Every effort I make, I liken to peeling off a thin layer of fat, just like peeling each delicate layer from an onion.
No matter how thin, once you peel that layer off, it is still GONE nonetheless.
You are that much closer to the center.

Russel Simmons makes a good point in his book "Do You" - he speaks on keeping your eye on the process INSTEAD of the prize. Don't get it twisted, you HAVE to have long & short term goals in order to know which path you should even be on. But, but when you are in the throes of the grind, sometimes during this journey, it is easy to get discouraged, when we take our eyes off of the path we are on, to look beyond to a goal that may, realistically be very far away. But if you stay focused on the path, your goal may even be realized in less time than you think.
I am really doing my best to try and recognize and enjoy this journey toward my goal.

Related Entry 
December 6, 2007

OMG this whole keep-your-eye-on-the-path-instead-of-the-prize thing really rang true for me today.
I went on a walk during lunch - the way our office campus is laid out, it's really more like a hike!
Anyhow, the last part of it is a steep incline, and it was such that, everytime I looked toward the top, my legs burned MORE.
So I put my eyes toward the concrete and kept pushing along. With my eyes downward, the incline I was ascending actually looked like level ground.
Before long, I was at the top of the trail faster than I thought!
Now that I am back on Terra Firma, and at my desk typing, I realize that this truth was illustrated to me in the most literal sense today.
And with that, another layer was peeled from this onion!

Dear Diary - Series

A Warm Hello to all of my readers.

I want to introduce a series of posts called "Dear Diary" entries. 

I am taking a HUGE risk here, not knowing everyone's motivation for being here,

not knowing everyone here, PERIOD.  However, I can't control who values these posts, all I can do is post them.

The entries in this series will share a HUGE piece of me, being real entries from

personal journals, rants, notes, and ramblings.

I feel a strong urge to include

snippets of stuff like that into a blog of this nature, because I feel it will seriously help someone out there.  Before you get too excited, NO - I won't be putting anything TOO juicy on the 'INTERNETS' - just a few little nuggets to provide a little insight into why I've created what I hope to become a movement.

A concern of mine is coming off condescending, all-knowing, etc.  If you know me outside of this blog, you know that is far from the truth. Take it how you want, but my delivery is my delivery: it comes from a sincere place.

For those who may have a romanticized perception of me, based on what I choose to present to the world, the 'Dear Diary' series, may help you see where I've been (aka where I'm coming from).

I don't speak from a place of idealism & fairy tales . . .there's a hell of alot behind my humor, my smile, and my over all persona.  Lest we forget

I CHOOSE Happiness

I CHOOSE Positivity

I CHOOSE Joy

I CHOOSE Peace

...it's not just handed.

So with great humility, and no further adieu, I present to you, the "Dear Diary" series.

Do You Want the Cornucopia or the Scraps?

There is really no need to hoard in this world, if you ask me.

There is truly enough for everyone … some folks are greedy, and take more than others.

Some folks wait for things to be handed to them, and get mad, when others are too busy taking care of themselves. Some folks take what they think, or have been conditioned to think is “just enough”.  Others take all that they think they will need. It’s a personal choice.

But a consciousness of abundance will get you a lot farther in this world than a consciousness of lack.  That mindset applies across the board to VARIOUS aspects.

Drive down 6 mile / McNichols Road in Detroit, Michigan.  If you are an aspiring salon owner, depending on your mindset, it can be downright discouraging to take a cruise down that road and see how many salons are in business – back to back to back [snapping finger for emphasis].

In a mindset of lack, you might think your only option is to apply at one of these salons, and wait it out until someone rents you a booth, and hires you on as a stylist taking 10 (or more) percent off the top of your earnings (if you are an aspiring stylist, that may be perfect for you. But for an aspiring OWNER - it doesn't end there).   You may come to the conclusion that the market is just TOO saturated for your dream of owning a salon to even get off the ground. With that mentality, you’ve popped a hole in your balloon before you even had a chance to inflate it!

(My Belief is) God did not put us here to play small.

A person with a mindset of abundance would drive down 6 Mile, with an awareness of their value, and their talents, and what they bring to the table. They might say to themselves that they have something TOTALLY unique to offer to an industry that thrives on being different, for risk of being lost in the sauce.  A person with an abundance mindset, has a take-no-prisoners approach to life, and might go so far as to visit the established salons, to see where they miss the mark, and position themselves to fill an empty niche.  Turning the salon industry on its head seems to be a lofty notion – but trust and believe, enough tenacity, some intelligent money decisions, and just a little bit of craziness will certainly get you there.

In regard to food, TO THIS DAY I can be one of those “take-a-little-for-later” eaters.  I absolutely hate being hungry, and for a long time, fear of a lack of food drove me to eat more when and while it was available to me.  When I tuned my mind to abundance instead of lack, I realized that (especially in our country) food is aplenty.  Until my passing, there will always be another chance to eat.  This mindset helped curb an appetite, driven by more than just bare-bones hunger. 

Main Takeaway:  THERE IS ALWAYS ENOUGH … you just have to go out and get yours.

Recommended Reading:

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey (Not the spin-offs – the ORIGINAL)

How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie

January 1st as a Benchmark - If You Like It I Love It

Why wait until January 1^st to start your New Years Resolution?

 . . . Because You Can.

There is nothing wrong with being proactive and starting here and now.

But if you have some big changes in the works, sometimes the start of the New Year acts as an awesome benchmark - ESPECIALLY GOING INTO A NEW DECADE, as we are in T Minus 37 days from today!

If you want to get started now, that’s great.  But don’t let anyone give you flack for starting your resolution on January 1.   People do what works … do what works for you.

It Takes Alot of WORK to Be This LAZY: Why Unwarranted Leisure is Anything But

One of my favorite things IN THE WORLD to do is absolutely nothing.
Aside from traveling, dining out, and taking scenic drives, my husband, myself (and the dog) can EASILY list being lazy bums as one of our favorite family pastimes.

So why was it that, at a time when I spent the most time doing one of my “favorite things”, was I still so down and depressed?  Why would I just cry or be angry for no apparent reason, after engaging in my favorite activity for hours upon hours, sometimes DAYS at a time?  I would venture to say that my rest was undeserved.

Just because your body is at rest, doesn't mean your mind is - so that's not really REST is it?

Most recently, I had to change the parameters of the description of my favorite pastime.
One of my absolute favorite things IN THE WORLD to do, is absolutely nothing …once everything is done – meaning homework’s complete, I’ve worked out, and household responsibilities have been filled for the day.  What gives me peace of mind, is rest – AFTER THE WORK IS DONE. 

After I’ve done all I need to do outside of my rest – I can truly feel content in my leisure – as though it is well deserved. Undeserved leisure, to me, is not true leisure, when you have responsibilities looming.  

Action Item:  Try resisting the urge to rest when you still have things to take care of.  If you don’t have homework, or household chores to complete – have you gotten some good movement, or a workout in?   Trust and believe that your lazy time will feel so much better, in that no-guilt sort of way – you won’t believe the endorphin release you feel once you rest AFTER you work – not before.   Talk about a natural high.

This is but one way of Manually Applying Positivity to your life – one token toward making you happier overall.  I'm talking about that deliberate joy, again - the kind you feel within . . .the kind you do not need to be given to you by the world.

Main Takaway:  
PLEASE DO NOT BE MISTAKEN – YOU MUST WORK HARD IN ORDER TO BE A LAZY BUM.

TOTALLY OFF TOPIC: The Good-Good

I put it on him right . . . I do it every night I leave him sittin', Mouth open Like, "Whoa!" So I don't worry 'bout nobody takin mine, Cause I know just the right thang to do, I got that Good Good . . . - Ashanti  

OKAY THEN Ashanti … so she claims to have that ‘good good’ – but don’t we all?
. . .In my opinion yes.
It’s no question, that we as women have the power to literally whip a man into submission using sex as a weapon.  Wars have been waged, lives have been lost, and countries have been formed with sex as part of the basis of the conflict.
God created sex, so OF course it is a powerful thing – though it’s often abused.
It has the power to strengthen marital bonds, and most importantly – it’s the catalyst for procreation.

Unfortunately many people misinterpret the so called ‘power’ of sex.
How many women believe they can keep a man based solely on sex and nothing else?
How many women compromise their bodies and their morals by using their self-proclaimed sexual prowess to attract male suitors, only to be left feeling used, lonely, and worse off than before? 

Why is it that the Karma Sutra Queen, claiming the ability to work it, twirk it, show it, and throw it better -and more often than every other woman, still stands to get left behind for the girl who can’t even twirl a hula hoop? 

I’d like to take a stab at why.   Sex is but a supplementary part of love. Many folks confuse sex with love.  I’ve seen so many people bring sex to the table early on, and feel a sense of entitlement because of it.   But heed the warning: anyone can get sex from anywhere. If you don’t believe it – just Google ‘the world’s oldest profession’!

I can only speak from the mind of a woman, but I am of the opinion that in most cases – it’s The Person Behind the P_ _ _ _ that will keep the man around. All of us women have the same thing – the huge variance lies in how much we value it.   …and “it” alone is not what’s going to make a man stay when he is itching to wander.   
Men – correct me if I’m wrong … please.  Again this is my P.O.V.

Thus, the woman who may not be road-tested, may need a little practice when she feels the man is deserving enough to have her body.  But because she's exhibited so many qualities that make her worth keeping around, OUTSIDE of the bedroom, her man will most-likely not mind showing her the ropes - as opposed to proceeding further with the Karma Sutra Queen who felt inclined to give up the goods early on - thinking that the dude would be whipped enough to remain with her, instead.

 All of us have the ‘good-good’ … but what do you have that individualizes you from the other billions of women on earth who ALSO have ‘that Good Good’?  What are those things, exclusive to you, that will keep the man coming back for more (not just physically), and keep him respecting you after you’ve shared this precious part of yourself?

In college I was asked by a male accquaintance why some girls made the decision to abstain from sex until marriage.  He  brought up the potential of not being ‘up-to-par' or experienced enough to please/satisfy their husbands.  Funny how dudes pose questions like this, but on the flip side, don’t want women with miles on them!  
Concern, and Contempt make strange bedfellows! 

Truth be told … though it’s viewed as old fashioned, I TOTALLY see why – at least in my faith, sex is designed to be reserved for marriage.  If both parties have gone the whole courtship abstaining from sex, and getting to know one another on more important levels before getting physical, I personally feel that when you do cross that line – it can’t help but be or eventually become that ‘good-good’.  In my eyes, that is the ULTIMATE level of physical intimacy.

Ladies, we have some tokens and treasures available for us to utilize in our search for Mr. Right ... just like Super Mario has all of his prizes to help him reach level 8 and rescue the Toad Princess.  Save your main treasure for last!  Put your intelligence on the table first, along with your interests, and your overall personality (your mushrooms, and your stars).  
If he makes it past the initial barriers, maybe you can whip out that fire flower.
But don’t go using up your all your feathers, frog suits, and whistles on Level One!
Dude will take your whistle – blow it, get warped into ANOTHER WORLD, while you're still stuck there on the first level wondering what happened!

So what separates the mediocre from the good-good?
I would say, respect for oneself, and restriction.   Again, if you take the time to let a man know the person behind the p_ _ _ _, and not take you for a spin, you might get him to stick around for more than just a test drive.  I think Steve Harvey has the right idea with His 90 day trial period (for those who choose not to adhere to abstinence).   And if the man isn't patient enough to stick around to get to know you before getting the goods...well maybe he shouldn't even be in the running FOR the goods? (Red Flag ... better yet CHECKERED flag)

Anyhow – not the most concisely-structured rant – but that’s what on my mind.

Thoughts?